Oh my goodness...

 This was in late August.

This was Mid December.

Can you tell a difference?

~Ho Ho Hope your Christmas is wonderful~

Myspace
Graphics- At Myspacejunks.com

18 pounds down!

Taken today at my Mom's!

Neglected

Wow, I guess I have neglected this blog! Sorry! I guess I am doing well.

I am eating ok now. I am supposed to be on pureed foods right now. But I have been able to eat some

other stuff. Just not anything real solid. The best thing so far was yesterday...

I had to go to a doctors appointment so I dropped CJ off at school and my mom and I headed into the

big city of Greenville NC.  We went to my appointment... I got stitches. It was the dermatologist and I had a large freckle he didn't like the looks of. I also had 8 skin tags taken off my neck. I have to go back next week to get the stitches out. Anyway, we went to that and then walked around the small pottery there and then went to Sam's Club. Oh my gosh! I was exhausted! (And today my calf's hurt) But we went to Wendy's for lunch and to rest. My mom and I split a small chili and I took off a few bites of her baked potato. I can't drink with my meal so we spent $3 something for lunch! Anyway... the chili... It was so good, when I picked CJ up from school I went through the Wendy's again and got another one! Tonight I made Chicken Chili. It was good too but the Wendy's chili was the BOMB!

I think I could get hooked on that.

I haven't been sick (throw up) but one time. No fun! I have had my stomach cramp up,

that is no fun either. I think I may be eating more than what I am supposed to. I don't know

if it is supposed to be 2 ounces or less, but I am eating a little more than 2 ounces.

I kind of think that with the  Diabetes Insipidus that I have it makes me drink more and

I don't know if it has made my tiny stomach larger or not. I don't know???

Anyway, when I went to the doctor on the 23rd I had lost 13 pounds in 11 days.

I know I am losing but I am not sure how much I have lost to date. My mom's scales battery

died and I need to remember to bring another one over.  I don't have any at my house. I go back to

the doctor on Monday. So I will know more then as to how much I have lost.

I am still not feeling like I think/wish I was. I have to remember that

I did just go through major surgery. I am so glad I didn't have to go back to

work after 2 weeks. I couldn't have made it. Thank God I have a good job with

benefits. I bought a 4 foot Christmas tree to put up. I really don't feel like decorating this year...

Ok... I haven't wanted to for a few years now, but this year I have an excuse! I

finally went home on Sunday night. That was the first time since November 11th. It was

nice to get home. But really, where do I still spend most of my time? My mom's.

Well, that is what has been going on with me.

Oh My Gosh!

I almost feel alive today!

It is the best I have felt in exactly one week!

Yay!

Now last night was another story. I don't know what was going on. I felt so bad.

I know I have neglected my blog. I just haven't felt like doing any posting.

I haven't even wanted to enter any giveaways.

I had to stop my antidepressants last week. So the last time I had any was Thursday 11/11.

Well I called the doctor the other day (I wasn't sure if I was supposed to feel the way I was)

and I explained to them that I  was really hurting and running to the bathroom. Every time I 

drink anything I was going to the bathroom. So I didn't know if everything was going the 

way it should. I was tired. I didn't want to move. Wow, I guess I am alive! To think back

to how I felt the other day I have came a long way. Yay me!

Oh.. antidepressants, I have been on them since my Dad passed away in 1999. Life is rough.

If I can take a pill and feel like I am living and not just going through the motions...give me the pill.

Anyway they told me to call my regular doctor and have them call me in one that is not extended release.

Well, they got me one called in and I went to Walmart to get it. I took that last night. Crushing pills

it not for me.   NASTY!  I don't know if that is what made me feel so sick last night or

what made me fell so better today???  I am supposed to take this 2 times a day. I really have been putting

it off this morning. I think I will go ahead and take it for today. I remember a friend cutting & braking her meds when she had her surgery. (actually when she came back to work) I don't want anything to

stop my top of my stomach. I don't know yet!

Now I am probably going from one thing to the other so if I am, forgive me.

Ok, time for me to get off the computer for a little while.

Thank you all for your emails, comments and thoughts and prayers!



I am alive!

I am home from the hospital. I went through it! I will write again later.

Not much longer now!

Please don't forget to

Pray for me...

This has always been one of my favorite pictures of CJ.

Friday... Friday...Friday...



Guess What??

My surgery is Friday!

November 12, 2010

If you pray please say a little prayer for me!

Ok.. a BIG prayer!

~My weekend~

Oops! Wrong cookie!



Wow, what a weekend! CJ left Friday at 4:00 to go to Raleigh NC for the annual CCYC with the Middle School Youth group. (Carolina Christian Youth Conference) It was Friday, Saturday and he will be coming home today. So my mom and I had this great weekend planned. Friday night we just sat around and watched TV with her on one end of the couch and me on the other both with laptops in our laps!  Then Saturday, I came back over with my coupons and went through them against the Harris Teeter website... I was ready to go get free stuff or nearly free. (super doubles) Then we were off to Greenville!! Just the two of us. Don't get me wrong, I love my son. But as a single mom with no dad or any of his family or a grandpa in the picture, I don't get girl time.  So this was our big chance. We went to Ollie's then Best Buy. I got wonderful news this year that I was eligible to sell back some of my sick leave. I will be getting a check the end of this month. It is not a whole bunch but I am planning on getting a laptop for CJ for Christmas. He needs one.  The one I have is not the best but it does work when it wants to. So... Into Best Buy we go and while they load the stuff on the computer or not, we are going to get Chinese!! Oh boy!  So, as we are at Best Buy the laptop I wanted was not in stock so I would have to order it. Ok. The guy tells me I can either order it at customer service or at home online.  Well I wanted this one like my mom got and it was on sale for $349.  I was afraid that I would change my mind so I went to customer service and told the guy I wanted 2. Yes 2. I was going to get one for myself too.  I deserve it! He says, why didn't they order it back there? I don't know??? Ok, I can do it here... So then I tell him I want the anti-virus and the Office home/student disc. Well the sweet little thing just lost his mind.... Uh... I need to get someone from back there to come up here. I don't know anything about that...

waiting...

Call from CJ..(my phone announces then plays How Great is Our God)

Mom... Just listen, I am sick and I want you to come get me~

What?? But, girls day???

Son, you are 3 hours away. I can't just "Come get you."  Now crying I am hurting, my stomach...

Just hurry. Don't say anything just hurry.

I am still waiting on someone from computers...

I pick up the papers I had the guy in the back print off and then I wrote down what I wanted and I walked out. My mom was getting a wireless printer...

(so we can sit as described above and print from the couch)

I walked outside talked with the youth minister and told him I would be there around 4:00.

But Chinese!!! I really wanted to get Chinese. If I get to have this surgery THIS week I deserve

 this weekend, right?

Fine!

We haven't eaten, but we now need to drive 3 hours to get him then turn around and go home.

No Chinese. No Harris Teeter trip. No computer, No girls day!

So the next best thing? Krispy Kreme.

(We have a buy one dozen get a dozen free card)

I'll eat doughnuts the whole way there!

(and did!)

Well, I have never went from Greenville so we hit 264 and we are driving and

I see a sign that says "to Rocky Mount" is this where I go? 

Mom: Yeah, you can go this way...

Well guess what? Now not only depressed disappointed, but also lost!

Well believe it or not, we ended up on very back roads ( remember, we live

in the middle of no where)

 I don't know how but we ended up where we were supposed to..

I go into the hotel and some of the kids were in the lobby.  CJ runs up to me.

(yeah, runs) Mom, I feel better, can I stay? Please? Please?

What the heck? Girls day!!!

Then we find out that the Church bus (that breaks down sometimes)

has broken down at the mall.

So we stay around there for about an hour. I tell him he can stay but

if he gets sick later... (he finished the sentence with...just deal with it)

That's right!

So my mom and I head back home. We stopped in Rocky Mount at Cracker Barrell.

(yeah, we finally ended up in Rocky Mount!)

Then we went to Target and ended up back home a little after nine.

Now, it is 11:07 and I got to go get ready to pick CJ up. Again!

But this time I don't have to go to Raleigh!

~A quick update~

Wow, I just talked to a friend that I met the same day I went for my first appointment. She is still waiting on her 2nd insurance before she is able to set up her surgery date. But she said that when she went to her appointment with her surgeon (the same surgeon I have) he said he could do it that Friday! It was a Tuesday when she went. That might mean that next Friday could be my date!!

 

I'm crabby! (remember, this blog is all about ME!)

My throat has been sore yesterday.

I am tired.
I'm always tired, but I didn't get much sleep last night.
I wish I could say some handsome man kept me up all night.
But it was CJ.
 He got up and came into my room then hogged the bed
and the covers!

I have worked all day in the world of food stamps.

I am ready to go home.

I feel like I am pregnant and waiting on that first doctor visit so they can tell

 me my "due date" aka... surgery date!

Gosh... say a little prayer for CJ. That picture above may be him

if he hasn't gotten his homework done.

Please Lord, let him be in a good mood!

Still waiting........

Well, it is getting closer than it has been but I am still waiting!

I can't wait to share good news!

Not much going on this week

Well as you know I am playing the waiting game now. So not much is going on this week. My mom is going to Tennessee this week with the seniors from Macedonia Christian Church. I actually went to Church Wednesday night and again today. I really enjoyed it. I am going to make myself go on a regular basis again. I have just been being lazy on Sundays. That has to stop. I love our Church. Since there is not much to write about I am going to tell you how I ended up at Macedonia.
In April of 2004 my at the time husband called me at work and asked if I could get a ride home from work. We worked in the same building. I found one and called him back to tell him I did. That was right at 5:00. I told him I loved him and would see him later. I have not to this day seen him or talked to him.
He went to a female coworkers house and told her he was having car trouble. She was giving him a ride home. When he told her to go down a dirt road. He held a pocket knife to her. (this is all her story)
While on that road they got in a ditch, started walking (together) and then he turned around and started walking the other way.
There has been charges of Kidnapping, attempted rape, assault with a deadly weapon and who knows what else.
So that was April in December an old friend that I worked with from Martin County came to my house. Her Sunday school class took up a donation and gave me a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart. Ok let me back up a minute. My mom had been going to another Church. My son and I went there for about 2 months. While in their Sunday school class tears would roll down my face. NEVER did anyone ask if I was ok or put their hand on me to comfort me. Nothing! Nota! Then out of no where people I didn't know were reaching out to me.
I decided then I wanted to go to that church and check it out. Everyone was so kind to us. In July of 2005 I was granted a divorce. On July 24, 2005 I was Baptized and became a member of Macedonia.
So... That's my story of how I ended up there. I for some reason haven't been for the past year. But that has ended.
Off that subject I think I am going to have to call my foot doctor and see if he can do surgery on my foot while I am out for the other surgery. It has been hurting so bad. I have already gotten 3 shots this year of cortisone. So there is nothing else. I have met my deductible now so I would think this is the time!
Well, got to go home to finish washing clothes!
Have a great week!

~I am alive~

Wow, I guess I had some people worried about me!
I am alive!

I had my last appointment. Actually, they called me on the 5th and wanted to move it to this week but I told

them they were delaying my surgery! So they saw me that day.

Long story short, everything was fine with them.
So I called the surgeon's office to schedule my appointment with them...

Don't you know, he is out the last 2 weeks of October. So the soonest I could get an appointment is
November 8th.

So I am at a stand still for now. Sorry to keep you all up in the air like that!

Trust me, I will let you know about the surgery when I hear something!

This week

Not much is going on this week. Just the last appointment on Thursday the 7th.

I will let you know how that goes. I am assuming that it will go fine and then I can make the

appointment with the surgeon. I will post later on in the week!

One more to go!

I just got a phone call from the Pulmonary doctor. He said that I was good to go.

He talked about how when I get into my REM sleep that my oxygen gets low. But he

feels that after the surgery it will go away. He said he was going to release me and

let my surgen know to have a sleep machine on me when I wake up and I should be

good to go!!
So I don't have to go to my appointment Friday!
He saved me my co-pay!

My upcoming week

Well not much will be going on this week.

The only stuff I have left is:

10/1 Pulmonary follow up

10/7 Cardiologist follow up

So It looks like the only thing other than WORK this week

is the appointment on Friday. You know I was just thinking that

I would try to get my cardiologist appointment moved up. But then when

I was typing I realized that it is only a week from the pulmonary.

However, from today that is almost 2 weeks. So maybe I will

call to see if the results are ready & if they are maybe they

will have an appointment.

I will keep this updated.

Have a wonderful week

Quick update...remember this is a personal blog...

My boobs are itching and burning so bad!!!

I can not wait until I get home and get this bra off and wash with soap and water!

It has to have been the gel stuff they used on that machine!

Oh, I hope I can wait until 5:30!!

You know, it could be those gloves that the technician was wearing.

I am real sensitive to smells. And I kind of get the smell of rubber or whatever they are made of.

(and yes, I did try to wash it off in the bathroom at work)

~Echo Done~

Now I just wait for my follow up on the sleep study&follow up on the Echo cardiogram!I am READY!You know, we put a lot on our hearts. Technology is Awesome!

~YEP~

Yep... all them wires!

And on my finger too~

I got the gal to take a picture with my phone.
I will try to get that on later!

Maybe...It wasn't pretty!

~Sleep Study Tonight~

I have my sleep study tonight.

Please tell me I am not going to have all of these wires all over me!!!

I will never be able to sleep!

Then Thursday I have the echo cardiogram!

Oh boy then after that I just go for them to tell me everything was ok with it...

Then the Surgeon!

I am going to whine just a little bit...

Yesterday and today I have ached so bad. I can't wait to have the surgery so that I can start feeling better. I know if I get some of this weight off I will feel better. I just can not picture life without Fat and hurting. I don't seem to be seeing me differently than I am now. Does that make since? I guess because I have been overweight all my life I just don't see it any other way. Will I look deformed? I am just ready! Ready to feel better and want to do stuff!
Please pray that everything will go well and I will be safe. Healthy to be able to spend more time with my son and enjoy every minute I have.
Thank you my friends!

What a week...

I know I should have posted earlier, but I have been so darn depressed this week and it didn't seem to get any better. But today is Saturday and Thank GOD that week is behind me.

Lets start with Monday... I just had to ask my mom what Monday was... It was a holiday. You mean to tell me that it was what would normally be a 4 day work week and it was that crappy?

Monday I don't remember Monday.

Tuesday... workday I was on intake I don't think anything special happened that day.

Wednesday... I had the endoscopy that morning. It was not as bad as I remembered. As soon as I was released from there my mom and I went to The Cracker Barrel. YUM. Then we rushed over to my pulmonary appointment. When I got there they:

1. Took x-rays
2. Took urine
3. Took 4 tubes of blood from my arm
4. Did pulmonary function test
5. Took blood from my wrist (checking for some kind of gases in the blood)

Then the doctor came in... Oh what a sweetie! We chatted for a while. He got my history. (I had 2 right Pneumothorax's (Collapsed Lung) back in 1986. Then we chatted some more. Long story short he wanted me to sleep with this little thingy that checked my oxygen while I slept. It was small and connected to my finger.

Thursday...

I went to return the thing I slept with. Of course I got in traffic that was backed up! There had been an accident...How dare people get in my way when I needed to drop that off and get to work and not be to late? I ended up being 30 minutes late. That morning did not go well. I think I had so many people that had called and wanted to know where there food stamps were... I don't have ANY food in my house. Nothing to feed my kids...whine, whine, whine... Now let me just say food stamps for 1 person a month the max is 200 dollars. Some of these people get 6, 7 plus up to 1000+ a month. How do you not have ANY food in your house. They got on my LAST nerve. I came so close...ok actually I was on my way to my supervisors office to tell her to take it and cram it. Wouldn't you know she was not in her office? So I went to my lead worker and lost it..cry, cry, cry!

Then I went back to my office and worked just a little bit and had to go to the Nutritionist appointment...I had to be there by 1:00 which I was. I left there at 5:20. Wow. It was very interesting. Actually it was fun. There was I think 11 ladies in there including me.

Thank GOD again that when I went to pick my son up he had done his homework!

Now on to Friday...

I don't know why but I was so EMOTIONAL! I do know that I had not had some of my medicine for a few days. I didn't have the money to go pick it up. I should have just put it on my credit card. But I didn't. I was hurting so bad...my foot was killing me. (I have had 3 shots in the right foot & can't get any more) Just one more reason I want to have this surgery. Anyway I was going down the driveway to take my dog to my mom's house...(she babysits her, she doesn't do well alone after we got broken in a few years ago) So back to the driveway... I started boo hooing. I cried and cried I couldn't stop. Cried all the way to the school to drop CJ off. When I got out of the car one of the teachers came up to me and she had been crying too. She asked for me to pray for her as her & her husband were having problems. So guess what? I hugged her told her things would work out got in my car and cried some more.

Ok...Now I am at work TRYING to get some work done! The phone rings and it is the pulmnary doctor called me...not his nurse or any other staff Him! Did I mention he is a doll baby? But he has a wedding ring... Ms. Canfield, we are showing that your oxogen fluctuated throughout the night. We will need to do more testing as it seems you do have sleep apnea. So now I have to have a sleep study done! So there is one more test and then another appointment. (and another copay)
This will all be worth it in the end, right? And it is a good thing that we are doing all these test, right? I guess the sleep apnea could be one of the reasons I am so tired & moody. Well, I am tired of writing now and I have cought you up to today. Today I woke up feeling much better. So hopefully I am over my pitty party.

My day yesterday

Well, I finally got off my butt! My brother came down from Virginia as he does every 2 weeks. But he came by himself. I worry about my brother. He is always on the go. he never stops. I am so worried that one day it will catch up with him. Anyway, he comes to cut the grass and all the other stuff that my mom and I can't do. For years I have had a problem with some kind of rash/raw area when I get real hot & sweaty so I haven't cut grass in a long time. But yesterday it was real nice outside and he was alone so I got on the lawnmower and helped him. Now when I say cut grass it is not a little grass. My yard takes about 2 and a half hours to cut... (on the riding lawnmower) So I went & cut my grass then came back to my mom's to help him over there. I think I started about 9:30 and at 1:00 I had to stop. I had to go get ready for a wedding that I went to at 3:00.

Now, just a little information...I don't like to do anything on the weekends or my day off from work. I have gotten so lazy. I don't want to go or do anything. That is another thing that I really want to change once I have my surgery.

So then I went to the wedding...right by myself. I was happy to see some of my coworkers there. I hadn't planned on going to the reception but they didn't know how to get there so I went and didn't get home until right around 8:00.

I was really glad I went it was real nice. Well that was my Saturday!

I broke down!

Yesterday after I realized it would probably be at least another month & a half...
I drank a soda! I let it go in my mouth and swished it around! Oh it was so good!
If you are considering this surgery a good site to go to would be ObesityHelp.com. I haven't been able to really check it out much but there is a place that has before pictures and when you move the mouse over the picture it shows the after. Oh my GOSH! Is this really going to work for me? I can not even imagine! Oh I hate having to wait.

Just a little disappointed

Well, I am just a little disappointed. I guess because everything has been going so fast. I went to the cardioligist and my EKG was fine but I have to go back for an echocardiogram. That would be fine too if it wasn't that they couldn't get me in until September 30th. So that is all the way to the end of the month! THEN... I have to wait 2 WEEKS ! That appointment is scheduled for OCTOBER 12th. That stinks!

But I guess that is ok. They just want to make sure EVERYTHING is working properly!
So in my mind I am looking at probably November for my surgery!

Again, that is in my mind!

I will keep you all posted~

Please keep me in your prayers!

What I have been through this week

Well, Monday I had my psych appointment. It was at 7:45 am. I had bunches of questions to answer. Then I talked with the therapist I must have been in her office for 2 hours. We talked about everything. She was really nice. I don't have to go back there until 3 months after my surgery.

Wednesday I had my appointment with my regular physician. He gave me my letter of approval, and my lab results from July.

On the first Wednesday of the month they have a support group from 7:00 to 8:00. So the gal I met on the first day (the 4 hour class) had called me and wanted to know if I was going. So I told her yes. If she would go I would. Well I am really glad I went. There were people there that were in the process of getting ready to have the surgery, had already had the surgery. They were awesome! One gal that was sitting beside me had been 6 months out from her surgery and she had already lost over 100 lbs. I can not even imagine! There was a man that had lost over 200 lbs. I think he was 18 months out.

Today I took all the paperwork I had together to the surgeons office.

Today the cardiologist office called to set up my last appointment that I have to have. They had an opening for tomorrow! So, I took it!
That means that after next Thursday I will be on my way!!!!

So wish me luck!

Excited & Scared

Well, I have my first appointment tomorrow. I hope it all goes well. then on the first I have one with my GP. Since I haven't received the letter in the mail with the "go ahead" I am going to ask him to give me one then. I guess he and I will talk about that more then. I will let you know how it goes. Two appointments this week and three next week.
Here we go...

~~~Just a real quick note~~~

~I would really like to have a Sprite Zero~

But it is a

NO NO.

I have made a major decision

Let me see...

This blog is all about ME~
ME...ME...ME...

I am age 45. For the past 12 years I have weighed about the same thing.

~HEAVY~

I have pondered about this for a long time and I have finally decided...

I am going to have Gastric Bypass Surgery.

My first appointment was on August 12, 2010. I attended a 4 hour class.

It was very interesting and very scary.

Honestly, I was really hoping that my regular doctor would not approve.

I have what is called Diabetes Insipidus. Not Diabetes.

Well, it took over a week to get an answer from my doctor and he said YES!

Oh my gosh!

Now, last year when I ran it by him he told me no. So again I thought this would be my way out.

Nope. He said yes!

So the way I was looking at it is if he said no then it was not ment to be.

If he said yes it was Gods way of telling me this is what I need to do.

So... Thank You, God!

Please keep me safe though this journey I am about to take.

I have several appointments that I have to go through.

August 30th I have an appointment with a Psychologist.

(I mean really, you have to have your head examined!)

Yesterday, they called and told me before I could have my endoscopy done I have to pay my 10%. So I gave them my VISA number. I turned around at my desk, with my hands on my head thinking "oh my gosh, I am really doing this."

I want to feel better.

Get off most of my medicines.

Not feel tired all the time.

Enjoy life with CJ.

Do things...Get off my butt!

I can not even picture myself small.

I have been over weight all of my life!

So...

8/30 I have Psychologist

9/3 Cardiologist (new)

9/8 Endoscopy

9/8 Pulmonary

9/9 Nutritionist (another 4 hour class)

Update:

9/23 Echocardiogram

10/1 Pulmonary follow up

10/7 Cardiologist follow up

Those are the appointments I have so far, I will let you know when I have more.

Now, I love comments but please keep in mind

"If you can not say something nice...Don't say nothing at all"

Please!